Flava

You nay recall a few weeks ago that I was in the final stages of the 'meading process' and that soon the sweet nectar MIGHT be ready, that is, if I didn't completely fuck it up. Well, it seems that I did not fuck it up and the results are here for all to see. Behold! I give you Bag End Strawberry Mead.



"How much does it cost?" you ask. Foolish mortal! You cannot buy ambrosia, the food of the gods! But if you beg on bent knee (or just stand near me long enough) I will likely whip out a bottle in the way proud parents enjoy inflicting endless photos of their progeny on complete strangers.

I am told by people with palletes that would know that it is extremely drinkable, if not , in fact tasty. I like my mead sweet and this fulfill my tastes well. Your milage may vary. I am hoping that I can make another batch this February, provided Grimm is willing to hold my hand again. I cannot thank him anough for his help and advice. If you're thinking of making mead I recommend it highly, if only because you might get to set up a contraption that looks this cool in your kitchen (at least for a little while):

War is Peace - Ingorance is Strength

It seems that a white-as-wonder-bread average Joe who just happened to have written an Anti-Bush book now finds himself on the TSA 'No Fly' list. This is a list you can't get off of. This is a list with between 35 and 80 thousand names on it. You cannot sue to find out how you got on this list. Yes, it might all just be a misunderstanding. Might just be a glitch in the computer. No reason to get bent out of shape, is there? Unless it was you on that list.

Are we paying attention yet?

Score!

Rossana and I took a trip today to the Goodwill. Rossana hates paying retail and there are sometimes good deals to be had. I did not expect she'd get the goddamn trifecta. First she finds a hat that will be perfect for our upcomming trip. Cost? 99 cents. I just paid over 60 bucks for a genuine Tilly Hat. That's the most I've ever spent for a hat. But it's from Canada, and it has a secret pocket and is guaranteed against damage and loss. If I am killed by insane Jihadists, my hat will go on. She then goes on to find a travel pack for four bucks.

I find a very soft jacket that is medium weight. This thing will make a great pillow on some long bus ride. And at 3 bucks I won't feel bad if I need to jettison it. This is the secret to efficient travel in countries with good swag. In Istanbul I chucked pants, shirts and most of my underwear so that we could transport more silk scarves back to England.

Then my keen elf eyes spot something in the discound coat rack. I zero in on it like a cruise missile, I think I knocked over a small child to get to it. Everyone has heard the story about buying a 2 dollar painting at a garage sale only to discover its a missing Renoire, and Jackal spent less that 25 cents for a First edition of Le Motre D'Arthur that he later sold at a tremandous profit. Today was my turn. We found a mint condition Half Moon Jacket.


If you've been doing renfaires for too long like I have you can spot one of these distinctive wool coats or capes from a mile away. Anyone who does the circuit full time had dropped 200 bucks or more for one. And I found one that fits Rossana like a glove for FOUR BUCKS.

Yes, I did the Happy Dance(tm).

Today was a good day.

Movies

In Boston I got the chance to see the awesomeness that is my Dads home theater system. Since he installs this stuff for a living you might expect his personal rig to have mighty powers. And you would be right. We watched Kingdom of Heaven and it was like sitting right in a theater, except with really comfy seats. Now I learn that Ridley Scotts film originally had about an hour more footage and Fox made him cut. This footage explained all kinds of plot elements that didn;t quite gel in the released version, (such as how a blacksmith knows how to defend against a siege). An enthusiastic geek got to see this full version and you can read about how cool it could have been here. Alas, it was re-released on ONE goddamn screen and i don;t anticipate it getting any kind of wide play. Maybe we will be lucky and get an extended edition DVD in a year. One can always hope.

We also saw Syriana in the theater and I enjoyed it a lot. Great performances and it did not pull punches or dumb down the material. What it did not do is shock or surprise me. At the end I felt I had watched a well acted dramatic portrayal of how the US has run foreign policy in the Middle East over the last 30 years or so.

Lastly we saw King Kong in Philly and I will say that it did not in ANY way dissapoint. It rocked and it rocked HARD. Amazing visuals but also a good story. Scarier than I though it could be. And certainly a tear jerker. Just try to watch the 70's version after seeing this, you will vomit in your own Lederhosen. Andy Serkis (who was Gollem) is the actor behind Kong and they say that he's the actor behind Kong. I don't know, Kong is so damn real, so alive that you don't see Andy there at all. It like they found the Laurance Olivier of Gorrillas and just filmed him doing his thing. It's THAT real. Go see this in a theater, it just won't look as good on the small screen.

Chowda!

Chowda!
Originally uploaded by stevepack.

We're in Boston visiting my father and his super cool wife Millie. My father had the good sence to marry an Italian as well.



We have eaten like kings here. Dinner was at Pizzaria Regina (est 1926). Its small, serves ONLY pizza and has lines to get in. Why? It is quite frankly the best pizza I have eaten in quite a while. We stopped by a bakery and picked up some mini cannoli, pizzelles, a chocolate chip cookie the size of my head and some break. I don't know what every one else is getting for dessert tonight but I'm set.

I may be a whore, but I don't work for 'The Man'

When I was down in Biloxi, Vlads wife had a great t-shirt that said "Product of finely tuned Celtic Rage". It was sweet. When I asked about it Vlad said that a buddy of his was making the shirts. I went to the website and found even more gooder shirts there.
If you're looking for shirts that make statements others may find uncomfortable I highly recommend you spend your hard earned money on shirts that are sure to cause you problems when you wear them out and about. The guy is a fellow SCA member and the shirts are printed here in Ohio. Now that's supporting your local small business. Go now and shop! Zoltan demands it!

So cool it hurts

I like to think I'm like Kwi Chang Kane from King Fu. I travel the badlands of the internets. I'm not looking for trouble, but it finds me just the same. And when the shit hits the fan I'm there with SKILLS. In the end there are bodies all over the place and we all learned a valuable philosophical lesson.

I'm like that, except without the fighting.

But there are lessons to be learned grasshopper. I like cool things. You must like cool things too, else you would not be here, your eyes sliding across these words looking for 'it'. That 'thing' that is coolness in its purest form.

Well, I have it. And I am happy to pass its linky goodness on to you young Padwan (wait, am I a Kung Fu master or a Jedi? Hell I'm both! Like a Reeses peanut butter cup).

So here it is, the gift that you can give anyone. The Book of Cool. It is an AMAZING book that comes with 3 DVDs showing people doing the coolest things. Card manipulation? Sure. Juggling? Hell yeah. Gun twirling, Frisbee, hacky sack even pen twirling. All of it shot beautifully with great music. Go take a look (the sight is great as well) and then order this thing for yourself, or some other lucky bastard.

Castle!

I now know how Solieri felt about Mozart. I'm not un-clever. But there are people with skills and visions so far past most of us that you cannot help but envy them. Such is the case with the people who built this amazing castle in New York.



It's for sale by the way. The asking price is about 6 million.

Lowering my stress levels

I normally don't like to send people "cutsey" things. But we live in dangerous, stressful times. If you're feeling under the gun, or are contemplating using one, I recommend you go here.

Repeat as needed.

Meady goodness

I have been eagerly awaiting the magic day when the mead I cooked up last year with Grim is bottled. This day MAY be Friday. I talked to him today and he asked me if it was clear and if it had stopped fermenting. I answered yes to both questions. Since hitting it with a second applications of the magic sparkloid powder it was now much clearer.

I went out to the shop to, well, look at the gooey mess, like a proud father looks at the placenta and says "That's nasty, but I get a baby out of the deal, and that ain't so bad." But when I moved the bottle accidently, well.. swirled it a little accidently on purpose it bubbled a little.

Fuck. What do I do? Fuck! Does that mean it's still going? Shit. That was stupid. Call Grim. He'll know what to do. I give him a buzz. Grimm is like Winston Wolf, he fixes things.

"Hmm. Well, next to peeing in the carbouy that was the worst thing you could have done." Shit. "You might have stirred up some nastines and there may be some fermentation still going on, you'll need to rack it off. It you bottle it now, each bottle will be a ticking TIME-BOMB that could EXPLODE killing everyone in the immediet area."

Jesus, I just swirled the bottle a little once of twice, I didn't know I was setting up an IED factory.

Grim calmly tried to explain how to rack the mead from one bottle to another. "It's just like when you used to siphon gas when you were younger."

"Younger? Dude I own a cargo van, I siphonedf gas from my neighbor yesterday."

He told me how to use the racking cane (siphon). He then wished me good luck. I cleaned out and steralized the second bottle, did a practice run a few times and the process was actually kinda cool. The process sort of looked like a mad scientists chemistry experiment. Sweet. I successfully racked the mead and hope to bottle it very soon. With luck, it won't kill anyone, but I make no promisses. I want to make another batch, maybe raspberry. But propane is now waaaay expensive, and that's what heats the shop, where the mead god lives. I can't afford to keep the shop evenly heated all ther time. I don't know where I'd put it to keep it warm and happy.

The worst kind of news.

Rossana and I braved the icy roads to drive into Oberlin tonight. We were planning on attending a talk with Malik Rahim. He was one of the founders of Common Ground Relief which is who we were working with in the 9th ward of New Orleans. We didn't get to talk with him down there and I regretted that. He speaks with a clear, eloquent passion that is sorely lacking in most leaders these days.

When we saw a flyer yesterday in town announcing he was giving a talk we'd figure we'd show up to hear him speak, get an update on what's happening and maybe get a chance to talk with him. But it didn't happen. And it was for the worst of reasons.

After a brief wait a young man stepped onto the small stage, he said that Malik had wanted to be here at Oberlin, because so many students from that school had come down to volunteer, but just yesterday a bus carrying 7 volunteers went out of control and flipped. A young women was killed in the accident. The kid was having a hard time taking.

"She was a good friend.. I mean, I didn't know her that long but when you work together down there you kinda... Anyway Malik is sorry he couldn't come and he hopes to be here in the spring." and then he just walked off.

One of the organizers, unsure of what to do, asked how many in the crowd had already gone down. There were about 20. I stood up and asked how many were planning on going. There were maybe 15 in the crowd of 40 people.

"If you have the chance, if you can find a way, I urge you to go." I then spoke for about 10 minutes. I didn't want this chance to slip away, I didn't want these college kids to get turned off to the idea. I told them the unvarnished truth, that in the time I was there we cleared maybe 35 houses. Lets say that all the volunteer groups combined did ten times that. There are maybe 50,000 damaged homes in the ninth. It is an overwhelming task, but at the end of the day 350 families can begin to restart their lives again. We then filed out.

I didn't want to think about those kids on the bus. They rolled into Biloxi just as we were pulling out, and got to New Orleans a few days after we did. Their monstrous green/blue school bus was a hippie cliche' run on recycled vegetable oil. There are pics in the photo gallery. I didn't get to know them. Which I suppose is good because I don't think I could handle finding out someone I volunteered with down there just a few weeks ago died in an accident.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. I looked at that top heavy monster when it roared into Biloxi and thought "wow, you gotta be brave to drive in that". It was unsafe, but didn't we all used to do stupid or unsafe stuff when we were young? It wasn't supposed to be like this. They were so young and so fucking full of energy and righteousness and ideas and dreams. I'd listen to them and smile as they talked about saving mother Earth and bringing social justice to the poor and I'd smile a little. I see things a little different as I get older. They were naive, but they still had the right idea.

This was supposed to the an event in their lives. Something they would talk about with others, something that would inspire and motivate people to do something. This would be one of those times they would look back at years from now, when they have jobs and have settled into a routine. They would say "I helped out" and if the need arose, they would likely do it again. Some of them might even do more. Several Oberlin students have been down there since the beginning. They are in it for the long haul.

But now it's different. Now that small spark of joy that you feel when you've done something good for someone else is overshadowed by this. The shittiest part is that there is nothing anyone can do. There is no legal authority to appeal to. There is no protest or action that can undo it.

I feel like crap.

Please ignore my previous post...

The one about wanting the Astin Martin DB-V? Yeah, you can just pretend that didn't happen. Why? Because some clever monkeys have come up with a kit for the f*cking Batmobile!!! Sweet Jesus on a pogo stick! And it only costs about $16,000. So...close..just out....of...reach. This lucky bastard had a JOB going around the country being Batman. How cool is THAT??

Go take a look at the site and the pics. The link to the kit are bad so you can use this one.

Would there be some kind of bad karma if I robbed a couple of liquer stores for the money to buy the car of a notorious do-gooder?

***UPDATE***
Shit! There seem to be OTHER clever monkeys offering kits evern CHEAPER.

Oh man this is good

From the amazing Farfblog site:

Meet The New Plan!

Q. Is the new plan an exit plan?
A. The president doesn't believe in exit plans! Exit plans are for presidents who're lookin for an exit. Our president's got a Victory Plan cause he's always lookin for victory.
Q. The president doesn't believe in plain ol exits. When he's stuck in a building an the building's on fire he doesn't say "where's the emergency exit?" He says "where's the emergency victory!"
A. The emergency victory is located on either side of the main hallway under the flashing blue lights. Break glass for triumph over Islamism!
Q. Sometimes all the constant victory gets to be a little much for him. He just wants to pick up a pizza and he's gotta wrestle an alligator on the way there. He wants to go to the movies and he's gotta sink a pirate ship first.
A. He can't leave the house without defeating at least three robots and a ninja. It is exhausting.

Q. Does the new plan stay the course? I'm a big fan of the course.
A. Yes absolutely! If you liked what the course had to offer you're definitely gonna like the strong elements of coursiness in the new plan.
Q. I dunno... it IS a new plan. Are you sure we haven't switched to another course somewhere? Did we even wobble a little?
A. This course is the same course as the previous course but is now served on a bed of fresh leafy green victory along with a side of pasta salad and your choice of vegetable.
Q. Mmmm, sounds delicious! How come the old plan didn't have this much victory in it?
A. It did! We just didn't tell you about it. This is newly declassified top secret victory.
Q. Does that mean the new plan is really the old plan?
A. Every day is a new day for the plan! Today is the first day of the rest of the plan's life.

A. In the new plan, the Iraqi security forces will be better trained than ever before.
Q. I heard the Iraqi security forces are turnin into death squads.
A. Well can't they be well-trained AND death squads? You gotta have pretty good trainin to be a good death squad.
Q. Well I guess that's true.
A. I mean let's not shortchange the death squads here. It's hard work bein a death squad.
Q. Well, are they bona fide agents of an accountable government who operate within the boundaries of the law, or are they more like sectarian thugs who carry out extrajudicial back alley executions under the cover of darkness?
A. Why can't they be both, like one a those pictures of two faces that looks like a vase?
Q. Or a car that turns into a robot!
A. See, there you go! Death squads: democracy in disguise.

Q. We know the victory plan's gonna get us some victory.
A. Yep.
Q. Question: how MUCH victory?
A. COMPLETE victory.
Q. Wow!
A. I know!
Q. I wasn't expectin that much victory!
A. Iraq will be peaceful united stable democratic an secure an Iraqis'll have the institutions and resources they need to govern themselves justly and provide security for their country an Tiny Tim's gonna walk again an Jalal Talabani's gonna save Christmas and you will believe an ayatollah can fly!
Q. That's not bad for a country on the brink of civil war!
A. All we need to do now is win... with the power of winning!
Q. Now that's a plan

This ain't right.

If you love animals, you may want to stay away from this site. No really. Just wrong.

It's for a great cause....

Ok, so I need more money. A LOT more money. I mean you better sell one of your goddamn kidneys and send me a money order STAT! No checksI tell you!

No, this isn't for some wonderful cause. It's to buy the original James Bond Astin Martin DB5. You understand that this isn't some whily nilly purchase. It's a MORAL IMPERATIVE. Oh sure, I'd love to own the Lotus Esprit that turned into a sub. I'm a big fan of wedge shaped cars. The DeLorean? Way Hot. But if I must start my collection with this car, so be it.

If only I would use my powers for evil...