Not Cool - No power = No fun

Two weeks ago the power went out at my friend Grim's place. For him, the experience was not fun. He has two dear pet prairie Dogs, and a house that uses hot water to heat it. He and his sweetie had to hunker down in the basement with the dogs and use their wood burning furnace. They couldn't leave the house empty too long or the fire would go out and their water pipes would burst. No hot water, no internet, not a single luxury...Several sleepless nights. Eventually, their power was restored just in time for their New Years party and a good time was had by all.

This morning, it was our turn. No power, and everything outside was encased in a thick coating of heavy ice. So heavy in fact that several pine trees on the property were badly damaged. The weight of the ice bent smaller tress in half and several large limbs snapped off completely.

What were we to do? Leave immediately and go to breakfast in town, that's what. The small diner was so packed that we offered the two empty seats at our table to another couple, who turned out to be very nice folks. We ran some errands and returned home to find... No power. We called up Grim, who could now chuckle at us. Although the power was again out at his place, HE now has a generator, and all the joys that power provides.

This was the big test. How bad would our Hobbit hole get? Although the temp went up to about 39F outside the ice stuck around all day, and the house started to cool down. We considered starting a fire, but that would draw cooler air into the outer rooms. Eventually, after a nap, I was forced to put on a sweater. It was horrible.

Being bored we again abandoned our house to go see Blade 3 and enjoy a nice dinner with Grim and his wife. Upon returning to Bag End, we found warm lights glowing and twinkling at us, welcoming us home. Our house is toasty again, but it was good to know that in the event of another outage, the place should stay pretty tolerable. The only casualty was the ice cream in our freezer. We gave it a decent send off using bananas and some walnuts.

The very definition of wacko

I am not one to bitch slap other peoples religious faiths. In my life I have attended many kinds of Christian services, a barmitzvah, and have visited the Blue Mosque in Istanbul, which I found to be one of the most tasteful religious buildings I have seen. Many of my friends are Wiccans or some other form of Pagan. So I believe I hold a pretty open mind with regards to spirituality.

The Church of Scientology, however, is pure made up wacko fiction. And more than that, they are dangerous.

You may have heard about these people, they have centers around the world and offer free 'personality tests' at many of them. They run commercials for the book 'Dianetics' which tell you that you can reprogram your brain.

But the simple fact is that this is a made up "religion". 100% fiction.

Why should you care? Because there are lot of them out there, they have a shitload of money, the best lawyers, and will use them against ANYONE they think is a threat to them.

For a little background, take a link over to Wikipedia for the basic story that their religion/science is based on.

Would you believe this if someone blurted it at you on a street corner? Hell no, you'd carefully cross the street to avoid such a wacko. But Scientology doesn't give you that story right off the mark. You will spend years and thousands of dollars learning these 'secrets'. And if you try to leave or cause them trouble? Well, take a look over at Xenu.net for more horrifying stories about what this 'church' is capable of.

Seriously, if James Bond existed he'd be sent to stop these people before they took over the world using their mind controll bullshit ray and their hoards of mutant lawyers with frickin' lasers on their heads.

Old but still Cool - The Godfather bit

Two years ago at the SCA event called Pennsic I thought it would be fun to help raise money for the Chiergeons (sp?). These are the people to basically run a small hospital at the event. Many merchants put out a small plastic bottle to collect spare change for the cause.

I felt that was letting them off easy. Merchants have money. Not a lot, but enough. They also get tired and bored being stuck in their booth all day. So a few friends from our camp joined me to 'shake down' the merchants for 'protection money', which we in turn donated to the cause. Despite the rain, we had a great time. We'd set up a little table with a checkered tablecloth, candle and a small boombox playing the godfather theme while I did my Marlon Brando impersonation and made them an offer they couldn't refuse. After the event, I whipped up a quick Flash animation to send to some of the merchants who donated to the cause.

Click HERE for the .swf file

If that doesn't work, get the .exe HERE

The animations have sound. Enjoy!

Cool - XM Radio is in da hizzous!!

So it struck me that my lovely lady and I spend a lot of time driving. This driving usually has to do with our work and thus involves many hours of sitting on our asses looking at mile after mile of blacktop.

We have found many ways to distract ourselves on these long trips. There are, of course, games such as 'Punch me in the Arm' and 'Racoon Bocce' but these are short lived thrills. Books on tape are a great help but this situation really requires a far more complex solution involving technology of an almost mythical power. Behold!


I got the basic XM kit for Chrismachannukwanzikaa and picked up the car kit at Best Buy. I activated the system over the phone and then pranced (yes pranced) outside to install the shiny silver box of joy. This was achieved without undue stress. The radio itself slides into a mounting bracket that is stuck to the dash with powerful sticky tape. The power cord, antenna and audio out line are housed in this base station so you can simply take the radio with you if you should have to leave your vehicle in one of the less savory Amish neighborhoods near our home.

The unit requires about 20 minutes to download programming info, updates and (I am convinced) secret spyware that allows the government to track my every move.

Once set up the system is fairly easy to operate. That is to say, if you can turn a knob and/or push buttons, you're good to go. XM features something like 120 commercial free channels of programming for $10 a month. It also features something we often do not get out here in 'Gods Country (tm)', reception. I've had the system for a few days now and I enjoy it overall. Being a person who grew up, to some degree, during the 80's I appreciate the all 80's channel, although I am beginning to learn there was indeed a lot of crap created during that time. The world music channels are cool and I have a soft spot for 40's music and radio dramas from that period. The only problem is that if there isn't something on the channel you are listening to, you can bop around from channel to channel. And because the radio displays the artist and title you may find yourself distracted from your driving duties, which can lead to much swerving/screaming in panic etc...

Very Cool - Lunch with my Big Brother

No, this wasn't a lunch engagement with Goodman, my biological brother (the one who tried to hitchhike around the world in a pink bunny suit). Nor was I seated across from a large monitor showing the face of our glorious leader declaring 'War is Peace' and 'Ignorance is Strength' No, this was a special lunch with a very cool guy.

My parents divorced when I was quite young with my brother going to live with my Dad in Washington. My mother, in her wisdom, felt I should have a positive male role model in my life and contacted Big Brothers/Big Sisters of America.

After a few false starts I was paired up with a man named Jack Ellis. Jack was one of the first men to join the BB/BS program when it was founded in Cleveland. In fact, he had mentored FIVE other kids before me. Jack taught me to drive and how to travel. We took several long distance trips with me at the wheel of his Lincoln Continental mark IV. He exposed me to different ideas, even taking me to a meeting of the John Birch society once, as well as many museums and parks. He drove me to one of my first Pennsic Wars. Although I was not a great academic in school, he saw great potential in me and always encouraged me in whatever I tried.

His mentoring duties officially ended when I graduated High School back in 1986. But he was still a guiding hand for years afterwards. In time, I saw less and less of him. Then, out of the blue I got a call from Chris, one of Jacks earlier 'little brothers'. He had contacted all the other kids Jack had mentored and wanted to get us all together for a surprise lunch at the Ritz Carlton Hotel in Cleveland. I agreed in a heartbeat. Not only was Chris able to get all the boys together, but another protege' of his flew half way around the world to make the appointment.

It seems that many years ago a young man was just starting his college education when his parents suddenly died. Jack insisted he stay in school and helped him in many ways until he graduated. This young man, whom I shall call Mr. K, eventually built up a series of very successful businesses. He is now a multi-millionaire with homes in London, New York, Boca Raton and the south of France. When he heard about this meeting he changed his vacation plans and took his private jet into Cleveland (from London)after a massive snowstorm just to have lunch with Jack. This is the kind of love this guy inspires.

The effects of time have taken their toll on Jack. His eyesight has deteriorated and he can't drive anymore. He also needs a cane to keep himself steady and get winded pretty easily. But at 82 he is still in better command of his mental faculties than I am. He still loves to laugh, to eat and to know how all his little brothers are doing. We talked and laughed and swapped stories. Jack had a wonderful time and was so happy to see us all together.

As the excellent meal waned I began to wonder what this was going to cost me. I've never eaten at the Ritz before (A sign in the lobby said that high tea was available for $23.00 per person) I briefly entertained the idea of paying for the party myself, but quickly came to my senses. Yes, it would be cool to show Jack I was doing well, and hey it would be fun to buy a millionaire and the other little brothers lunch but this is the Ritz we're talking about here. Before I could ask about dividing the check the bill came back with the maitre'd into the hands of Mr. K. We all offered to pay our way but Mr. K would have none of it. "Next time you guys are in London you can buy me lunch" Little does Mr. K know I just got my new passport in the mail...

As he signed off on the bill I heard him talking to himself as he calculated the tip. It was the very method Jack had taught me when I was all of 16. It would take a lengthy book to document all this guy has done in his life. I only hope I get to have half the adventures he's had.

Not Cool - My ducks are dead

They came with the house. And they weren't the kind of pet I would have chosen to own if given a choice. But they weren't bad creatures. After their summer fuck-fest tapered off they calmed down and were pretty quiet and pleasant.

Today, while shovelling ourselves out of the blizzard that hit us several days ago I spotted one of the ducks mangled bodoes on the lawn. Something attacked it, taking a few chunks but nothing more. We bagged the body and went in search of the other two. We found one by the pond and signs of another attack but no body, though I expect it also is dead.

These were domestic ducks, bred for farm life. They can't fly and their movement on snow is very limited. There were tracks everywhere but we can't tell what it was that killed they. It might have been a fox as the animal was light enough not to sink in the snow. We spent an hour in the snow analysing the crime scene. We've been watching too goddman much CSI. In the end we determined that even if we knew what killed them they were gone and there was nothing we could do about it. No one else around us owns any ducks so there was no one to warn and no elaborate trap to set to catch the culprit.

So what am I going to do about it? Not a damn thing most likely. But it's sad nonetheless. I don't like to see any creature killed. My wife, who complained about the little buggers during the summer is really very sensitive to such things and I know it upset her a lot as well. They were curious creatures and always made us smile.

War shopping

Rossana and I went into our bank the other day to deposit some checks. As we wait we notice a large plastic box. Next to the box are photocopied lists. These lists are things that U.S. Soldiers in Iraq have requested as they are in short supply.

I idly glanced over the list. Some of the things on their should not be.

Toothpaste
Sunglasses
Tampons
WTF???

I wanted to put the list down. I don't like this war. I knew that things weren't going to go well for us even before we took pictures of naked Iraqis we were torturing.

But fuck. The overwhelming majority of people serving over there are good people trapped by the decisions of a moron commander-in-chief. Its just not their fault.

I looked around on Google and started finding stories about soldiers families taking up collections so that their sons and daughters would have the basic necessities for serving in a desert war theater. Some had paid for their kids body armor.

WTF?????

We found ourselves at Big Lots, filling a shopping cart with things from the list. Things I wouldn't go camping without, let alone fight a war. How are you supposed to feel about that? It leaves one a little conflicted, but these guys deserve what comfort they can get during this holiday season. Especially since some of them won't be coming home except in flag draped caskets.

'Cause I got a golden ti-cket!'

My new passport arrived today and with it the promise of leaving the country whenever I damn well please. My wife's has yet to show up however and this led to a long hard look at me. I had to swear that I wouldn't pack up all my shit and leave for outer mongolia tonight without her. I promissed, and domestic bliss was re-established.

The new passport has my ugly mug digitally printed onto the first page, makeing forgery either much easier or much harder. There is now a very complex little hologram coating on the page. Why am I mentioning this? No reason... no reason at all...

Manly man

So today I put all the resources of my super-cool shop into action and decided that there was NO WAY I would ever pay $35 for an oil change again. I purchased oil and filter and did my first solo oil change without permanently harming myself.

The process is pretty staight forward. Jack up the front and put it on stands. Remove plug and drain hot oil onto hands, floor and into oil catcher. Remove old oil filter (sending yet another quart of warm oil onto hands) Clean up oil puddles, replace filter and plug and refill with fresh oil.

Total time: approx 30 minutes.

Upon my lovely wifes return I told her of my Manly Deeds. I told her how it cost only $15 for the oil and filter, thus saving about $20 and a trip to the "city". My mate seemed somewhat unimpressed, telling me that SHE gets her oil changed for about $20. It takes longer, but she works it in around a shopping trip usually.

I was, needless to say, a bit gobsmacked. I rushed to the interweb and tracked down some better prices for oil and filter, getting the price down to a measely $8.47 HA! PLUS my wife wife hadn't factored in the cost of GAS to get her "cheaper" oil change. I began to feel better.

Of course, this ignored the money I spent on the various tools that were used on this project. Hydraulic jack, jack stands, creeper etc. I also have 5 quarts of old oil that will have to go somewhere. But these costs will be ammortised over the next 1-200 oil changes so it all works out in the end. *cough*

Get out your tinfoil hats..

This story, if true, should make some heads roll. I'm not saying it WILL, especially since its going to an 'ethics committee' (read: circular file)

More Las Vegas Eye candy

I posted a few pics here but if you really want to see what what was happening at this party take a gander at the official party website.

There are links on the bottom of the page too. Lots to see.

So True...

Found this over at Fark.com. Fuck Nostradamus, this man saw the future with a clarity that rivals a Hi Def Satelite signal

The larger the mob, the harder the test. In small areas, before small electorates, a first-rate man occasionally fights his way through, carrying even the mob with him by force of his personality. But when the field is nationwide, and the fight must be waged chiefly at second and third hand, and the force of personality cannot so readily make itself felt, then all the odds are on the man who is, intrinsically, the most devious and mediocre — the man who can most easily adeptly disperse the notion that his mind is a virtual vacuum.

The Presidency tends, year by year, to go to such men. As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

-H. L. Menkin 1920

Home again, home again...

We were at home for the weekend and it was pretty weird. We went to a movie Saturday afternoon and were stunned by the crowds. Usually we're the only people in a theater.

I'm taking the time to catch up on paperwork and clean up the house. I'm also puttering around the shop doing maintenance. (I love puttering) The shop makes getting projects done a LOT easier. Prior to heading to Las Vegas we needed a lightweight mannequin system. The regular ones are way to heavy and bulky to ship. Solution? Inflatable mannequin dress forms and copper pipe stands. My friend Grim kindly taught me to solder over the phone and the results were so good I designed and made two portable lights for the show as well.

We've been thinking of 'getting away' (fleeing) for the hollidays. So I checked my passport and lo, I need to get it renewed. This send Rossana searching for hers as well. I heard a scream as she discovered that hers was already expired. The knowledge that she couldn't leave the country kind of freaked her out. I mean, this is the woman that didn't fully unpack after moving in with me for two years. Needless to say, I have been on the internets getting the applications and we'll likely pay the extra $60 to get them expedited.

This is D and Monkey, who's wedding we were attending in Las Vegas. These pics are from the Fantasy Festish Ball, which was a pretty sweet party. 

These ladies were discussing who got to ride the bed first. It quickly turned into a catfight with lots of hair pulling and loss of lingerie. Actually, that part is a lie. The two ladies are economics majors discussing the merrits of the 1860 Hawley-Smoot tarriff.