The circus leaves town

The calm after

Dealer rooms are always scheduled to be open far longer than actually
do. At some unspoken signal, we quietly begin to retrieve our storage
tubs from our vans. At 4pm I look at the room and call it. We begin load
out. Rhe sky outside in quickly darkening. It could be rain. The van is
rearranged and we say some quick farewells and headed out for a
traditional post-show chinese dinner.

We'll have to figure out our next move now. Head to New Orleans or maybe
a hard push to Orlando and a trip to Disney. Hey, all work and no
play...

Why I love Waffle House

Down South they don't fuck around with regards to sugar. Up north, we
dole it out like magic pixie dust. But down here, sugar comes in a glass
bucket. Use all you want, we'll get more. Say what you will about the
South, they treat my sweet tooth right.

Another day, another cock up in the schedule. Our paperwork says dealers
room opens at 10. Upon arrival, it seems it doesn't open till 11. I
could have slept in another hour. Thanks you smacktards. With decent
sales yesterday, we hope to pick up one or two more today before
load-out, which is even more fun that set up.

Big-ass pirate ship

This is a casino across the sreet. The thing is massive, like three
stories tall. Someday I shall have a pirate ship/casino...oh yes...I
shall.

Sales picked up later in the day yesterday and we celibrated with a sea
food dinner followed by a wild evening on the down. And by wild evening
I mean we watched tv in our hotel room. Today dawns bright and cool. The
air is clear and the sun shines almost too brightly in the sky.

A rocky start

The above image is my dealers pass. It depicts a skeleton in a wreaked
car. What this has to do with scifi I have no idea. But its a pretty
good representation of my mood. We arrived on time and started load-in,
which is always fun in the same way dental surgery is fun. The dealers
room is a craptastic hall across from the host hotel. Its a condemned
building. Litereally. After this con, they're tearing it down. This will
be no great loss. It has all the charm of a vfw hall and smell like cat
piss. Although pleasant outside, the room is freezing. Not a great
start.

Signs of the times

This photo is of the front of a big-ass gas station. In a burst of
creativity that their home office would dissaprove of, they built a
small pond. Its about 12 by 4 feet and 6 inches deep. Now take note of
the signs. I can't be sure if this is funny or a sad statement on
american inteligence.

The road goes ever on and on. We're almost to Biloxi. We're running
behind. A nasty accident held on immobile for almost an hour last night,
and this morning an unearthly fog covered the state like a shroud.

Somewhere in Kentucky

When we stopped for gas we found this great roadside relic. "The Ole
Genr'l Store" is a string of five or six old buildings absolutely
stuffed with all manner of stuff. Geodes, antiques, walking sticks,
preserves, you name it. Its run by a nice old couple. I had to get some
pics. This kind of place won't be around in 10 years. It will be leveled
and turned into another clean, efficient BP or Sheetz with a layout
exactly like the one in your hometown.

Windows Dressing Fun - Part 1

This is the view of our local video store from the street. Details
below.

Windowdressing fun - Closer look = Funny

Here's the sign next to the snowman. Read it all, its truly disturbing. Life in a small town makes people funny I guess.

'Gay' apparently naughty now.

This is a little messed up. Apparently there are teams of people who play something called Pro Sports. When they play these games, which involve ass slapping and showering together, they wear clothing with their team colors, name and number. (I once wore a colored uniform with my name and a number on it, but that was only until the witness had an 'accident' and I was released for lack of evidence).

So, as a fan of these sports, it stands to reason that you too might like to spend $80 to buy a replica of the jersey they wear, so that you can make believe that you 'got game', or whatever, while eating chili cheese fries at your local sports bar. Lucky for you the NFL now has a place where you can make your own jersey. You can choose your favorite color, number and name. Unless you try to use the work 'Gay', of course. When you enter this most horrible of words, you will be rejected. Originally, the site said that you are not allowed to use 'Naughty' words on your shirt. This site was changed after people, one of whom actually played pro football and is named Gay, complained. The restriction is still in place, but the rejection notice is more impersonal. For the story, check here.

Of course we can't let people use just ANY words. That kind of unregulated freedom of speech is reserved for communist countries like Canada. In fact, there are over 1,121 words you can't use on your $80 shirt. And Gay is one of them, along with 'Homo', 'Lesbian' and oddly, 'sexy'. The following words were not offensive though; 'Terroris't, 'Cocks', 'Bin Laden' & 'Hitler'.

I went to the site and made my own design. Although I am upset at the company for being asshats, my design is pretty sweet.

Whoring myself

I've finished a new website for a client; wackyracecars.com The site features parodies of corporate NASCAR sponsors. NOTE! These parodies are slightly naughty and should not be viewed by those of a produish dispoisition. If you like what you see, buy a damn shirt, if you hate this sort of thing but have a "friend" who does, send them the link.

Any hey, while I have the attention of your eyeballs, let me know if you like the design of the site.

Wicked cool animated desktop

At the last LAN party I attended (Hey,I suck at Crimson Skies- thank you) I fired up a cool screensaver/desktop that I found somewhere called Drempels. The cool thing is that it can generate a personal, swirling acid-trip underneath your desktop icons. The program is only about 500k so go download it and play around.

I am not a patient man...

So, Constanting wasn't too bad at all. Not life changing, it was a good solid film. Having seen it I thought that there was only one film left to look forward to: Kingdom of Heaven. This monster looks good, reeeeeeal good. A film about the crusades that looks like it has a broad scope and brutal action. After Troy and Alexander, I've been loosing my faith in the historical epic.

But wait! I have just learned of a VERY cool looking film called Beowulf and Grendle. Its based on the ancient Anglo-Saxon story and filmed entirely in Iceland. No CGI, and costumes that look absolutely awesome. Take a look, the site has lots of goodies. When will we get a look at it? I have no idea, but I shall be keeping my eyes on this gem. Oh yes I shall...




Thanks to Erika for the heads up on this. Are there other films I haven;t heard about but should? I'm not omniscient you know (at least not yet) If you know of a cool film I might like, fire me an email: steve@thecoolreport.net

Landspeeder on ebay, my knees...getting weak

If ANYONE out there has two grand burning a hole in their pocket, contact me immedietly!! Some clever fanboy tool-using monkey has made his own Star Wars landspeeder based on a Harley Davidson gold cart (I know, the fact the HD makes golf carts wierds me out too). It's up for sale on ebay.



Aparently he has to sell it because he wants to make a replica of the Enterprise shuttle Gallileo. God bless you sir.

Extra funny

"PRESS SECRETARY SCOTT McCLELLAN UNVEILS STRICT NEW CREDENTIALING APPLICATION TO ENSURE ROCK-SOLID INTEGRITY OF THE WHITE HOUSE PRESS POOL"

http://whitehouse.org/media/application.asp