A simple plan

It was supposed to be a simple project. My friend Grimm wants a bar to take to Pennsic. He brews a lot of tasty adult type beverages and wants to dispense them is a stylin way. Hey, who doesn't? So today he showed up and started work with some help from me. Well, I mostly watched and sometimes held things.

But after we had spend an hour making a router jig and routing out several mortise and tenom joints I noticed something funny.

"Uh, Grimm. This bar is way to high."

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"I mean I'm 6'2" and I'm gonna need a booster chain to sit here."

"But my plans require this height. I need room for the kegs, and the cooler and glasses and..."

"All I'm saying is, I look like a Hobbit over here."

We debated the issue for several minutes when my wife popped her head into the Man Cave to tell me she was heading off to teach a class. I pointed at the bar.

"Is that bar too high?" I asked.

"Yes." she said, without hesitation. And left. This was, essentially the end of the discussion.

Grimm was frustrated. He looked at me in an Eyore like way. "I wanted to stach bottle and other crap on this shelf I had planned, but there won't be enough room."

Really? Lets find out." I quickly found some whisky that I've had in storage for a while. We were supposed to use the bottle to test the shelf height, but after opening said bottle we somehow went off on some other tangent.

We went back and forth. What had until now been a simple plan was now totally cocked up. We eventually came up with some very clever ideas for the cooler/tap system that we both believed will work. Alas, most of the day had been killed by this time and he had to run. We agreed that it would be a good idea, to bring over all the kegs and other equipment to test out the new human height design. And hey, once the bar is built it would be a shame not to take it for a spin.

We'll see next week when we comes back to work on the bar again.

The Fat Boys were Da Bomb

People often wonder what goes on inside my brain. Well, here's a good simulation of what my thought process is like at any given moment. Enjoy!

The way of the weasel

Spring has at last arrived, and with it the task of beating the great outdoors into submission. Please understand, I love Bag-End, my home, with all my heart. But it IS 5 acres. And that means mowing a big-ass lawn, one of the least fun tasks ever created. We were lucky that a riding mower came with the property. But mowing the verge takes anywhere between 6 hours and three days. At the poor machine is just not up to taking on the hills and muddy valleys so they often go untouched.

So I wheedled and whined and my lovely wife agreed to go look at bigger mowers. Powerful machines with engines that could power a small airplane and wide mowing decks that can cut a path of destruction through the ever encroaching greenness outside.

We looked at several models which looked nice and promissing.I will not bore you with the details of mower tech, suffice to say that I was slightly aroused by the power these machines possessed. Then the friendly salesman told us how much one of these things costs. Sweet Jeebus! And that's before you add any baggers, plows, heated cupholders or special mowing hats.

I was about to despair. It looked like I would be spending my entire Friday chugging around the back 40 on ole Betsy. But then I remembered a piece of my own advice. Front time to time some nice young person will come into my corset shop and poke around. When I approach and ask them if they want to try something on they smile and say "Oh, I'm just looking, I can't afford one of these."

I could just let them go and consider myself lucky that I didn't waste my time. But I don't, for several reasons.

1. They could well by lying.
2. They are depriving themselves of an opportunity.

I don't clue them in to No 1. but I do tell them that the last thing you EVER want to do is tell a salesman that you can't afford it. Once I know that you are not a viable customer I have little incentive to treat you with anything besides mild contempt. After all, you aren't buying. But I really have no way of knowing for sure if you are a struggling liberal arts major or a trust fund child. I tell these innocent persons that so long as I believe that I MIGHT be able to sell them something I will treat them like royalty. I tell them about the time that I got to go on a 60 mph ride on a $260,000 cigarette boat because the owner believed I just might be interested in buying it. If I had been honest, I wouldn't have gotten the ride.

So I followed my own advice and asked about the second most expensive model. Warranty? Financing options? Can I get spinners and ground effects? And then I simply said "Well, I'd really have to try one of these out at my property before I decided" And what do you know, they offer to deliver a demo model right to my house ... for free.

Sure enough, the mower arrived today and I finished the lawn in record time with only minor damage to some trees. Oh and there was that small accident at the edge of the pond, but Rossana helped me tow it out with the van and it seemed none the worse for wear.

The salesman called up to ask how it worked and I said it was great. I was about to tell him that we would "think about it" (code for thanks for the freebie but we're not made of money) when he said that the demo model was for sale at a substantial discount. Crap, I'd been trapped by my own sales kung-fu. You see, once I get a woman to try one of our corsets on, she very often falls in love with it and has to have it. The mower? Well, we're looking at what we can get for the old one. And maybe I can hold off on a computer upgrade and a few other things...

More gooder

I am by no means a music junkie, but I do like to 'rock out' now and then. This does not mean that I dance around the house in my skivies like Tom Cruise. Indeed that is a sight no one wants to see. But when I do hear a tune I like I want it NOW.
When some ditty catches my fancy I first track it down via the internets. Once I have a band name and song title I may wander through i-tunes. But 99 cents? Good heavens I'm no Rockefeller. I'm just an average Joe with limited moolah just like you. So chances are I'll cruise over to Allodmp3.com where I can download non DRM tunage waaaaaay cheap. And it's completely legal.

In Russia.

Maybe.

In any case I have been using the service for like a year now with no problems. To speed up the searching process they had a standalone music browser called the explorer. Each time you run the program it updates its catalog and allows you to search for and stream music before downloading your selections. Alas, this piece of software suffers from major usability issues. It works, but its no i-tunes. Well, imitation is the sincerest for of flattery and now allofmp3.com has a nice program called alltunes. It's in beta, but what isn't these days? I downloaded it and it is a far sight better than the explorer. Much cleaner interface, easier searching. Nicer layout, fewer dialog boxes when you decide to buy.

So go forth my flying monkeys! Go and seek the music you desire. Save you money for gasoline and liquor.

Goths to the Left of me...

Went back to New Orleans last weekend. This time it was all business. Convergence 12 is a large goth event. I've never done it before and was a bit apprehensive. The last goth event we did in New Orleans was fairly crappy. The hotel was crappy, the event was crappy, the location was crappy, sales...well you get the point. So I was a bit shocked when I arrived at the Hotel Monteleone and found it to be a nice place, very nice in fact. Maybe too nice. How could goths afford this place? Load in went pretty smooth and the dealers room was good sized. There were maybe three other corset companies or people selling corsets. Was I worried? In short, no. Saturday was a goddamn corset feeding frenzy. It was like I was the only dealer in a town of crack addicts.

Wait, did I just compare my product to crack?

Anyway, we kicked major ass, mostly because we were our usual pushy selves. We forced people to try stuff on. There was a booth near us and I could tell that they flew in, they shipped in their grid wall displays. They looked pretty spiffy, nice looking product. Too bad they then stuck tables in front of it all so people couldn't come up and touch. I don;t think I saw one person try one on all weekend. There were some pretties there and it was hard not to buy buy buy. Rossana did get a stunning hat, very Victorian.

Voltaire was there and even did a short acoustic number in the dealers room. Because goths do not do morning we had a chance to have a late breakfast and walk the French Quarter a little bit. Here and there you would see our black clad friends. But they looked oddly out of place because it was sunny and warm. I imagine that all that velvet and pvc was pretty hot. Even so the French Quarter is like Disneyland for Goths and it seems they had a good time. I didn't attend any of the evening concerts even though I recognized some of the names on the bill. I leave that for the young. Two good events in a row? What gives? I am vaguely suspicious.

Back at home now and we are faced with the very daunting tasks of working on the grounds and painting the above ground parts of our home. For a home that is entirely underground there is a lot of stuff to paint. My Mom is coming over tomorrow to 'help out'. I'm not sure what tasks I can safely give her. While Rossana has been dealing with green things I have been involved with grunt work, which involves moving heavy things from one place to another and hanging off of ladders with semi-dangerous equipment.

I can't see how this can possibly go wrong.

They shall know us by our tech

They shall know us by our tech
Originally uploaded by stevepack.

Our recent trip to Raleigh was an exercise in frustration, a journey into madness and anger caused by a road system SO fucked up that even locals have NO idea how to get anywhere. I would subject my worst enemy to these roads.



This may have contributed to our descision to buy a GPS navigation unit. We stopped at a truck stop and were idly looking at the cool arroy of gadgets on display when my hand brushed against the Cobra NavOne 4000. This activated a salesman. The gentlemans name way Bill. He quickly explained that he had an open unit that had been returned. There was also a $100 rebate. Rossana was strong, but the big, shiny screen called to me. Bill was merciless. We could try it for 14 days, it had 7 million points of interrest. My eyes glazed over.



Needless to say we got it. It turns out Bill spent 15 years working at a gun shop. Its a good thing he left that job or I'd be the proud owner of a bazooka and a few dozen rounds.



Not that that would be a bad thing...

Gods honest truth

We plan on merchanting at an event in PA next month. Being good little law abiding capitalists we applied to the appropriate authorities for our tax license.

Now, I know that state governments have to work with smaller and smaller budgets, but I'm not sure how this combination came about:

ATF rids Univ. of ninja threat

Making the world safe, from Ninja's

Too F-ing funny

Go look and laugh.

No worries

Over the past few years of posting here I suppose you have come to see that although I have a pretty cool livelyhood and I enjoy what I do, it certainly isn't all sunshine and lollypops or some kind of cakewalk. There are periods of intense work, ooften for little return. The economy continues to suck. Good shows are hard to come by.

But none of that was really the case last weekend. We drove down to North Carolina for the first weekend of their 2 weekend fair held at the state fairgrounds. The van worked fine, great weather going down. On arrival check in went without a hitch. Nothing was forgotten back at home. We were indoors, sheltered from any possible storms, but the weather was great. No sign of our nemesis, Beverle. We were across from a stage, but all the acts were good. The belly dance troups music was so good we found ourselves dancing around to it subconsciously. Sales were great for us. Saturday night we had dinner with the good folks from Griffin Works. Great Food.

On Sunday I walked the site and sat down on a bench to soak up the sun and listened to the birds singing. Just then a local choir did a warm up set nearby.

We enjoyed another great meal at a Mongolian Bar-B-Que called Crazy Fire and drove back on Monday. there was some rain, but nothing horrendous.

In short, it was a great weekend all around. I enjoyed doing it. I know that good story telling comes from conflict and adversity. There IS one more weekend to go and everything may well go to poop. But I'm happy to have had 2 great days. They remind me of why I love doing what I do.

Blogging from a small town - Quick and Delicious

When we moved out to Wellington (or 'the Hinterlands' as my East Side friends call it) I knew that we would be giving up a few creature comforts in exchange for the peace and privacy of Bag End. Wellington has 2 traffic lights. It has all the basics one needs. But you get tired of eating at the same ol place. So when we're in the mood for a change we head to the 'big city'. Oberlin. Just a few miles up the road it's got lots to offer including the discount movie house and several good restaurants.

Yesterday we were peckish and decided to stop by The Quick and Delicious restaurant. Its just South of the town square near the supermarket. By now we've become regulars and know the names of most of the waitresses. There's an elderly, but energetic black man named Mr. Fred who is always at the center table. I don't know if he owns the restaurant or not, but he holds a place of authority. Everyone who comes in says hello to Mr. Fred and he says hello to them. Always cheerful, always smiling. When we stopped in we ordered the Potato and bacon soup and I, being in a carnivorous mood I ordered a double mushroom burger. What arrived was a sizable chunk of bovine done just the way I like it.

While we were eating the two waitresses and Mr. Fred stood up and made an announcement. There was a group of senior types who had come together from several remote locations. To celebrate they were going to sing. I inwardly cringed. We've all been subjected to that forced birthday assault while trying to eat in peace at our local chain restaurant. And I can't bring myself to hate the waiters and waitresses for doing it because they are only following the orders of their corporate masters. But this was different. They sang, not shouted. And their three part harmony was pitch perfect. Mr Fred looked for all the world like Cab Calloway. It was a short ditty thanking them for eating there and it actually made me smile.

After the song our waitress gave me the bad news, they were supposed to use smaller meat patties on the double burger. I said I didn't mind paying extra. Mr. Fred, who had been eyeballing me stuffing this half-a cow into my mouth laughed and said:

"Son, you can't just walk away from a burger like that, you need some pie!"

As God is my witness, I went in thinking I would have a light lunch. Now my gut was groaning under the weight of this awesome meal.

I told my sweetie we needed to walk off a little of this meal so we did a trip around the block and went into the supermarket for a few groceries. As I'm wandering the aisles aimlessly, our waitress walks up and hands me my phone. "You forgot this."

I travel a lot. And I eat out a lot. I try to frequent locally owned places, but the fact is they have a hard time competing with the chain places. They don't have the money for stained glass and wood paneling or a 'theme'. And sadly, the food is sometimes only so-so. But you can't go too wrong over at the Quick and Delicious. The food is good, the service is great, the prices are reasonable and you might just get a serenade, some pie and a cellphone to boot.

A bit of fun

Nothing serious, just some makin with the ha-ha.


Go check out the vids HERE and smile.

I especially like "Bait", "Old people Having Fun" and the Isuzu ad.

Some pics and some thoughts

Gulf Wars, while not a rousing success, was not too bad. I am sure next year it will be back to its old self and sales will return to normal. The site of the event is pretty cool. They not only allow SCAdians to build stuff, they encourage it. Here is the Green Dragon Inn, it is a permanant structure and it's gorgeous. The inside has granite floors and a minstrels gallery. Food and ale is served. I must have one of these for myself...



After the event we hit New Orleans to get a break. Below is your standard artsy type shot I took at Cemetary No 1 in the French Quarter.



The inventors of the Hurricane, Bill O'Malleys features a water fountain in their courtyard that shoots fire. Are we getting any ideas yet?



On the day we left we thought it was important to stop back in the Ninth Ward to see what, if anything was happening there since we left back in November. At first I was not encouraged. The street lights still aren't working and there is still a lot of damage, but then we saw businesses opening up. We found the community center and the whole area was bustling with activity. Debris was being removed from the streets, roofs and houses were being repaired.




This was to have been a community center by now, but just after we left the roof at the warehouse where the volunteers were staying began to leak badly and had to be abandoned. They moved over to the community center and that is their new base of operations. The place has become a beehive of activity. Lots of College students came down for spring break to help out. So many that they were short of team leaders to help coordinate people. The church next door is also part of the Common Ground Collective, as well as the corner across the street. There is event a Clinic and free legal advice in a home nearby. I had my doubts that we would see anyone back in that part of the Ninth. But it's happening. There are several more FEMA trailers and signs that people are not going to let the area die. A short way off in the lower ninth there is still a lot of damage, and few signs of recovery. This area was hit worst by the flooding. I'd not sure it will come back.

We will be back in New Orleans in about a months for a Goth Convention call Convergence 12. We won;t have much time for sight seeing then, all business. So I'm glad we did in now.

I love you man!!!!

We will not speak of the excesses we have engaged in while visiting the French Quarter. The less known of these the better. Like Vegas, what happens here should stay here. To post pics would be foolish at this time. Maybe when we are safely out of this state...

It is not late per se, but we have retreated too our cool air conditioned rooms. The air is thick and warm. Angry clouds boil overhead. Walking in this weather saps one's strength and the addition of certain beverages does not help in navigating the dim, gas lit streets.

We have done what damage we can here. Tomorrow we will fight our way through the heavy rains to the North of us. If our luck holds out we will be back home in about 2 days. This is good. My restraint on this trip has been somewhat lacking, The further away I am from Beignets, Rum and gumbo the better. I believe Lindsey has enjoyed her time here, and as soon as we find her I will confirm it. She was last seen on Chartres heading toward one of the many clubs that fly rainbow flags. She has our cell number and we have a photo of her along with fingerprints and DNA sample. She knows when and where our van will be departing the Big Easy and we can only hope she will be in it. Pax Law #4 is very specific:

"Always come home with the same number of people you left with."

Back to the scene of the crime

A long hard day today. With threatening skies we packed up early. The event wasn't a bust, but it wasn't as good as I had hoped. It was a week of extremes. Hot days, cold nights, rain, dust, bad food and bouts of boredom followed by flurries of activity. Pack up was tough. Nothing wanted to fit, not enough room. Frustration.

Last night Lindsey and I wandered the site. We popped into the Tavern and ended up at the Known World Party held in the fort. I knew a few people there but most were strangers. A merchant holds a strange position in the Society. Those who don't have the time or skills to make our wares rely on us for our goods. But we are outside the social circle of those we serve. We hold allegiance to no Kingdom and as such are claimed by none. We maintain acquaintances with our fellow merchants and share a sort of camaraderie with them. Virgil from Crimson Chain Leather was our neighbor and one couldn't ask for a better one. We swap our versions of war stories and help each other where we can. We weren't the only one hit with vehicle troubles. A fellow merchant named Drago struck a tree stump on site breaking a spring and damaging a wheel. I hope he was able to at least break even on this show.

We departed one day early. There are rarely Sunday sales at SCA events. Right now we are again guests of Vlad and his lady. He has moved into new digs. These at least are bigger and can almost hold his eclectic collections. Stranger still is that the house in a suburban style development. All manicured lawns and minivans. I wonder how long it will be before the neighbors notice the Adams family moved in. We are treated like honored guests. A good meal and a hot shower are a godsend. So are the attentions of their cats.

Tomorrow we head to New Orleans. This time as tourists, though I expect we will tour the ninth ward before we leave on Tuesday.