"The Lawn, it's laughing at me." I said, looking out the window in a manner I hoped was reminiscent of Macarthur.
"What did you say dear?" my wife asked, not looking up from the sewing machine.
"Can't you hear it? Thousands of squeaky voiced blades of grass. They mock me. I must mow the lawn."
I went to put of work clothes and when I returned Rossana was glues to the window the way our cats are when birds stop at the feeder.
"Come here, quick!" she whispered.
I looked out the windows just in time to see a wobbly baby dear start to settle itself in a patch of low plants near the remains of our deck. In a moment, there was nothing visible but a pair of painted ears that swiveled around occasionally, scanning the area.
"It's adorable!" she searched the yard. "Where's the mama?"
"Off doing mother-dear things no doubt."
Her brow furrowed. "What is the baby wandered off and she can't find him?"
I could see that in the short time it had taken to put on pants two problems had suddenly manifested themselves.
"I can't mow today, can I? It might spook him. Or the mother." The grass was already abnormally high due to neglect.
"Should I call someone?" Rossana asked, looking worried.
Those of you who think that my wife does not possess maternal instincts due to her severe allergic reaction to human babies has never seen her around small furry animals. I could tell that she was ready to go the the store to get baby formula and knit it a sweater in case it was cold.
"We just have to leave it alone. It'll stay hunkered down until mom comes or dark. You can't go over there"
I have lived in Ohio most of my life and know something of the flora and fauna here. But I could tell my works were a kind of buzzing in my wife's ear.
"No touchy!" I said, firmer. She scowled at me.
I managed to mow some of the back 40, coming in for breaks now and then. The dear, whom I began to call 'junior' seemed happy to remain in the weeds. At one point the cats managed to wiggle their way out, causing alarm. We got one back in quickly but Little One wandered off lite a 2 year old, staying just of of Rossana's reach until she finally grabbed her on top of the house.
When I finished up in the early evening Rossana emerged from her office and proceeded to tell me all about baby does and the associated do's and don'ts. The was consisted of all the things I had told her earlier but I nodded dutifully. Junior hung around until dark and was gone the next morning.
All was well until last week when I used the back door of the garage to get something from the shop. I opened the door and started through in the direct way I am know to walk and was met with the carefully folded bundle of junior right in the doorway. I flailed wildly trying to stop myself from tripping over him, smacking into the door, the frame and shelving units as the tyke also clumsily got up and made a break for the woods.
The second appearance prompted fresh concern from Rossana but I am happy to report that I saw mother and child today and I noted they looked just fine after I narrowly avoided hitting them with the lawnmower.