Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Guns Guns Guns

This post has NOTHING to do with my rant below. I would like to make this perfectly clear. It just so happens that a few days after this post I attended the a gun show in Medina. I've never been to one and was interested to see what they were like. A group of us planned on meeting up at the sight at about 10. Of course THAT didn't happen. I arrived on time and was COMPLETELY UNSUPERVISED. Knowing my exceptionally weak will I drove down the road and window shopped before coming back. Not that this group represented the voice of restraint.

My first impression, after gazing in childlike wonder at all the shiny toys, is that this is a very polite crowd. There were a lot of attendees. You were bound to bump into someone and this was always met with an 'excuse me'. The dealers were polite. The buyers were polite, the people selling hot dogs and pizza were polite. Everyone is polite. I imagine that if you even tried to enter the building looking pissed, you would not make it. This event is all about calm people. Calm people with guns. And that's fine with me.

Next, there are NO booth babes here. This surprised me a little. I'm sure that at the big manufacturers convention's there are plenty of hot chicks displaying big guns. Here? Not so much. The closest that I could find was a middle aged woman with a Semper Fi tattoo that looked like she could punch me senseless. This was a room primarily of white males from the ages of 23-45. I'm sure its hard to find hot women who know the infinite minutia of firearms but that's not the point. The babes draw in people, for photos or autographs, for handouts. This creates a crowd. Crowds buy things. But this is a new field for me and if they aren't doing it, there must be a reason. Still, it was a bit of a drag. 2 huge rooms with guys in drab clothes. And lots of guns.

Homeless guys with guns. At first, I was a bit confused. I kept seeing guys with rifles slung over their shoulders and signs plastered on their chest or taped to their hats. Apparently, these are attendees who are trying to sell off their guns (presumable to buy new guns) but the effect is very strange. "Will sell complete stranger rifle for handfulls of cash".

Did I get anything? I was sorely tempted. Thanks to the ingenuity of the soviets one can buy a Romanian knock-off AK-47 with 2 clips for about $300. That's pretty damn cheap. By comparison a well made pistol costs $4-500 on average. The AK is a very well designed weapon I am told, easy to take apart and pretty accurate. But finances just didn't allow for it. I found a supply of Mosin/Nagant bolt action rifles most likely built in the 50's for under $100. Despite their age they are a well built rifle and can be very accurate with a scope. This is the weapon used by the Russian Hero Vasily Zaytsev . I held off for now. Guns and I still have a few issues to work out. Maybe in the Spring

My last observation didn't come to me until I was driving home and it is this; These people are nerds. You heard me. These gun wielding red-blooded Amuricans are hard core nerds. Read the two following statements:

"The 223 has a range of about 300 yards and a dispersal pattern of about 8 inches. You've only got five shots so you needs to make them count. Penetration is pretty decent with 20 grain. It'll take out just about anything. "

"The magic missile has about a 100ft range (+10ft per level) with a 1d4+1 damage. It'll affect up to 2 creatures in a 10' area. No saving throw, it's a standard action that uses a V and S component."

Are we seeing an similarities? Both of these speakers are about 20lbs overweight and are drinking Mountain Dew though only one of them is wearing a button that says "Assassins do it from behind". I won't tell you which.

This is not to imply that being a gun nerd is a bad thing. It's simply a different kind of nerd. And I guess it made me feel kinda warm and fuzzy to know that we share a common nerd-ness. Unlike the gaming nerds however, I will NOT get into a heated argument with a gun nerd over some trivial technicality. These people have guns, remember? It would not end well.

1 comment:

Unknown said...


"Booth-Babes" at a gun show. You might have something there...
I could just see it now, - Rossana and the Minion dressed up something akin to a cross betwixt a uniformed Demi Moore and "Tank Girl", caressing and holding aloft various lengthy weaponry in a sort of "Vanna White" way.
Ayuh, - you just might be onto something... - I bet it'd fly.
Just don't forget to wear your camoflague pants and an NRA shirt and ballcap just so's to fit in while you're raking in the cash for those redundant, grease-packed arms.