Saturday, December 03, 2005

Definitions

Can someone tell me if this is coincidence or irony?

I travel to the gulf coast where I spent a lot of time hauling cut up trees. I myself don't get to use the cool Stihl chainsaws. My paltry Black and Decker stays in the van.

Upon returning home there was a fierce windstorm. The next day we awoke to find this:















This thing is about thirty feel long. It snapped off the top of one of our massive pines that was alrady damaged by last winters ice storm. Thank goodness our minivan wasn't parked there. In an attempt to check how stable it was for cutting I gently tuged on it. The tree groaned and began to roll over onto my wifes minivan. Oh fuck.

I stupidly ran over to the van and blocked it with my body. I literally stood on the bumper and threw my weight at the tree trunk to keep it from smashing right through her back window. He's what it looked like when it finally stopped just inches from the window:















At least I finally got to use my chainsaw.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Holy crap! I am happy to know that both you and the minivan are unharmed.

I have to ask, what possessed you to run into the path of a falling tree?

Steve said...

It didn't so much fall as sloooooowly roll towards it. I had enough time to put down the chainsaw and try to stop it by grabbing a low hanging branch, when that didn;t work I jumped on the bumper. Do you know what one of these windows costs? Neither do I, but I didn't want to find out.

Anonymous said...

I see. That makes more sense.

a fan said...

Imagine having to replace the rear window AFTER you have been impaled by the tree and your body is what breaks the safety glass of the window...imagine the dull throb of the broken tree stump slowly impaling your soft belly before slowly pushing you into the van and having the window eventually pop...now there's something to visualize. Good work Steve. The next time the parking brake on my Winnebago goes out, I'll call you to stop it from rolling down a hill...

Steve said...

This was not so much heroism but self preservation. Although I did not cause the branch to fall, I WAS the only husband nearby with a chainsaw.

If the tree had resisted my efforts to stop it, I would have gladly let it break the window. Or, more precisely, I would have let it break the window, borrowed the keys, drived to the nearest body shop, gotten it repaired and paid cash. No one need know anything...