I am weak willed.

I'll admit it. I do not have the iron will that I wish I had. I love food, I have a hard time going to the gym. I never met a form of chocolate I didn;t get along with.

So walking into a fireworks store unsupervised was likely not the best idea. It sounded like a good idea. Fireworks to celebrate our first full year in Bag End. A little something extra to liven up the party. It was, as the saying goes, a simple plan. But the sales help at Fireworks World in Sandusky Ohio were helpful. Very helpful. They taught me more about fireworks than I ever dreamt of learning. I learned about mortars, repeaters, showers, spinners. At one point I felt dizzy and had to sit down. I was in a room with enough explosive power to blow up the entire building and leave a good sized crater. Kid, meet candy store.

I eventually selected several items. I stayed away from the mortars. These require you to shove an ball composed of unstable chemicals down a tube, light a fuse and then run away. After three or four rounds these things (according to Bill, the helpful sales guy)'sometimes just explode'. Adding alcohol to this mixture most likely won't improve the safety factor by much. No mortars. But I did pick up a repeater called the phantom 1600 that the guy claimed looked just like anti-aircraft fire. "It's just like you're in Iraq". I debated whether to question him about the state of the Iraqi Insurgent airforces and the effectiveness of Allied anti-aircraft against them but decided against it.

In the end I paid a lot of money. Too much money. I blame my wife. She knew where I was going and could have drugged my food.