Everybody has their own crack...

Mine has been broadband. And right now I am wallowing in it. Do you hear me?? Wallowing. When I moved out here to Wellington (aka the boonies) I was told by the cable company that I could get broadband. The day I moved in they called me to inform me that they were A) lying and that B) I was a chump for believing them.

The answer seemed to come from a local company run out of a semi-abandoned building that used surplus Israeli tank radio technology to beam broadband to a big-ass receiver in the home. I am not making this up. Alas, the technology needed line of sight to work and unless I wanted to build an 80 foot tower on my land I was SOL.

Tinme passed and I suffere the repetitive kick to the balls that is dial up. My best connection was 24k. Like sipping shit through a straw. Then I got a call from my contact. He said there was a new gizmo. Some new tech that could do it. I handed him a check without hesitation with the promise that if he were lying, I would have his balls for lunch with some Sun chips and a Fresca.

Three months later it has finally happened. He spent much of the day erecting an antenna on my garage roof and running wires into the house. Does it look ugly? You bet it does. Do I care right now? Fuck no! It works. I have blessed broadband again. I've spent the last few hours just basking in its goodness. The shakes have almost completely dissapeared. I went and bought a Modest Mouse tune from the itunes store (which didn't work on dial up) I watched a full screen trailer for Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Right now Steam is downloading Half-Life2 deathmatch. Joy!

Tomorrow the guy returns to clean up the cabling and get Rossanas system to work. As a bonus, I can now get web access out in the shop. Oh sweet jesus it feels like I have come back to life again. You bastards will have to find someone else to mock for their lack of broadband. Mine's just fine, thank you.

Here's a picture of my ugly-ass 30 foot tower: